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Post by mrmedic on Jan 6, 2007 13:13:34 GMT -5
Story 1.
Part 1: The Briefing.
The Sargent walks down the line of soliders waiting to be briefed.
The soliders are well disciplined and are almost statues to him.
As he walks further down, he notices one twitching and nervously looking down his weapon sights. He walks up to him.
Sargent: Who are you solider!?"
? ? ?: *Shivers*Pvt.roflcakes Sir."
Sargent: Where did you come from? Your name isint on the list.
Pvt.roflcakes: Dont worry sir, I'm from the internet.
Sargent: *laughs* Well, be prepared.
The sargent walks up and down the line, staring at one soldier to another, giving the eyes of death, it sends a shiver up everyones back.
Sargent: Now, we are now standing in the middle of the street. The most unsecure place in the whole fucking map. I made sure of this by testing it on my previous squad. *Everyone looks and sees gibs on the ground*
In about 30 seconds from now, the zombies will randomly spawn from somewhere we cant get to, protected by what can only be described as an exploit protector sent down from the god above us, Alex, so he can laugh at us trying to escape.
*everyone looks around vaguely*
*coughs* Right, when this happens, I want you all to huddle around the police station entrance, and at the last possible minute, I want you, pvt.roflcakes to run in and lock yourself in. Don't worry, the zombies won't attack you if you just stay still.
In the mean time, I will be in the traders, ever wondered why they dont show the lower part of the trader?
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Part 2: OMG AiMBOT!
Zombie: GET IN MAH BELLA!
*Lots of "urgh" noises*
Soldier: Ok, NOW roflcakes!
*Pvt Roflcakes does as told and is soon welded inside*
*Lots of noises of death and ragdolls falling from 2 inches and breaking their bones*
Pvt Roflcakes spots a zombie.
Roflcakes puts up his gun and has a horrified glance on his face.
Pvt roflcakes: OMFG THE CROSSHAIR! MY AIMBOT DONT WORK!
Death noises.
The Sargent comes out the traders and sees more soliders running towards him.
Sargent: Wonder what I can teach them this time.
Lame ending.
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Post by mrmedic on Jan 6, 2007 13:13:50 GMT -5
Story 2.
Part 1: Oh snap!
The sergeant quickly had his men lined up and ready to receive their orders. For him it was just another day on the job, for these soldiers, it was a fight to the death. Each soldier looked at each other nervously as the sergeant moved down the line of soldiers.
Sergeant: *Lights cigar* In about 30 seconds for now, this map will randomly disappear and you will soon see a girl running away from stalkers, and some text that says "Loading...KF-BioticsLabs." She cannot hear you, she is a figure of your imagination, she is stuck inside the loading screen and cannot escape. She was a fine soldier.
I want you all to use your training well today soldiers.
All the soldiers stand still, there weapons clenched tight, they knew what he was going to say next.
Sergeant: FFS NOOB! WTF!? YOU VOTED RESUMEGAME!? VOTE BIOTICS YOU Newblet!
Ok, the soldiers thought they knew what he was going to say. But they followed their orders well, and soon enough, every soldier managed to slide through an impossible small gap on the elevator, and was running towards the traders.
Soldier 1: I dibs the middle!
Soldier 2: I wonder if I can woe her into giving me a discount.
Soldier 1: Haha, I already got a discount, She's ma cousin, 5 times removed on my ma's side. I think she likes me.
Soldier 2: Oh? Did you ever ask her why she doesn't talk.
Soldier 1: Yeh, she didn't say anything though.
Just like when the bell rings for the end of school, the soldiers were running around crazy with their medical pistols, saying "IF U HEAL ENUGH UR HEALTH GOES OVR 100!" and everytime they saw someone with a feminine name they always asked rudely "r u gurl?"
The Sergeant walked down the stairs, and suddenly everybody was quiet. There wasn't a sound to hear but the Sergeants boots walking up the metal, which makes the really annoying metal clang sound...every time. A soldier asks in hope it might give them some time to relax.
Soldier 1: Sarge, see when we walk on that, yeh? It makes that clang noise. How much do we weigh sir? Less than a Timmy sir? Well then, why doesn't the Timmy's make the noise?
The sergeant looks at the soldier like he was the person who killed his parents and separated his brothers and sisters at birth.
Sergeant: Do NOT mention Timmy’s around me Soldier.
Soldier 1: Sir, why?
Sergeant: One of them took a’ liking to me, and it broke out through the other soldiers. My name was a mockery. Everytime somebody wanted to talk to me they usually said such words as "<3" or "Timmy", usually both...together....in that order.
The trader door closes. The soldiers look at the sergeant, knowing what he is going to say.
Sergeant: OMFG NOES! WTF DID U DO!? WTF AM I GOING TO DO! WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO GO! WHATS THE USE OF A WALLHACK WHEN YOUR NOT BEHIND A DOOR!?
Ok, the soldiers may have assumed wrongly again. But nether the less they stood their ground, listening to the noise of the zombies slowly walking towards them.
The Sergeant takes one of the soldier’s Hunting Shotgun, and gives him his pistol. The soldier has a scared look on his face.
The Sergeant lights his cigar(Mumbles to self : The amount of these I waste because of that damn map vote) and walks up and down his men.
“One man alone can do nothing. One death is a tragedy, thousands is a statistic. That’s add another one to the books.”
“For queen and countr-----*CRACK*”
The sergeant hit the ground as fast as the Timmy had squashed his head.
Sergeant: OH SNAP!
Soldier 1: *Shooting at encroaching Timmy * Thought you said they liked you sir!
Sergeant: SHUT IT private!
Soldier 1: Any plans sarge!?
Sergeant: Yes, I want you to make love to this fiery devil and make mutated clones of them which we can control and kill the specimens!
Soldier 1: Uhh….
Sergeant: FFS, Aim for the head.
Soldier 1: That’s what you said to roflcakes sir.
Sergeant: Are you questioning my 1337 management skillz?
Soldier 1: Yes.
*Soldier 1 has been been kicked from the server
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Part 2: The L-Zone.
The Final shot was just an exclamation point on all that has happened. The soldiers released their fingers from the trigger. It was over.
*Soldier 2 committed suicide *
Soldier 2: AW Hell NAW!
Soldier 3: WTF!? WTF DID YOU DO!?
Soldier 2: DAMN SUICIDE BINDS!
Sarge: I’M GOING TO BAN THE NEXT GUY WHO TALKS IN CAPS!
They arrive at the traders. Everyone is eager to spent the money they stole from the specimens.
Soldier 3: *Takes caps lock off * I’ve been thinking.
Soldier 2: Yeh? Congrats.
Soldier 3: Do you think she is a mime? Like, why else would she flap her arms like that?
Soldier 2: Maybe it’s a warning sign.
Soldier 3: Yeh! Lemme ask Sarge!
*Soldier 3 enthusiastically runs up to the Sergeant *
Soldier 3: SIR! Do you think that the trader is a mi---BOOM---
Sarge: Stay the hell away from me!
The door closes. Everyone teleports out. They look at the sergeant hopefully.
Sergeant: Uhh…wheres everybody else?
Another Soldier: You killed them Sir.
Sergeant: I only fired 2 bullets. Where are the rest?
Another Soldier: You banned them Sir.
Sergeant: F*ck this sh*t.
*Sergeant has left the game *
The remaining soldiers look at each other.
Another Soldier: \o/
Other Soldier: /o/
Another Soldier: \o\
*Sergeant has entered the game *
Another Soldier has been kicked from the server.
Other Soldier: Buh…but Sir!
Sergeant: You got 30 seconds to win this wave before I kickban your ass.
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Post by Abyx on Jan 6, 2007 13:27:03 GMT -5
Lmao, good stuff.
Bring some more?
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Post by zombieButcher on Jan 6, 2007 13:33:12 GMT -5
Hunting Shotty.. Timmys... i wonder who that Sarge is.
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Post by Doyora on Jan 6, 2007 13:46:35 GMT -5
haha. now, KF needs a private roflcakes model. With a muffin for a head.
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Post by Seras Victoria on Jan 6, 2007 14:19:09 GMT -5
LMAO Abyx, your turn  |
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Post by mrmedic on Jan 6, 2007 14:28:34 GMT -5
Maybe. I was hoping the community would get involved.  Anybody notice some relevance to Max Payne? In the second story |
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Post by Abyx on Jan 6, 2007 22:55:12 GMT -5
Grim wrote this, I just changed it. I thought it was funny as hell.
Emotional Scene for Abyx as a squad leader:
Abyx: I feel like I'm dragging the team down, no one wants me here, and the first chance they get, they're going to push me into a horde of specimens and get rid of me
Grim: *pats your back* I love you man, don't you EVER say you feel that way. Because I'm here for you man
Abyx: ......
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Post by Dr. Macon Dead on Jan 7, 2007 0:56:38 GMT -5
That sounds like something Lara would say.
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Post by Seras Victoria on Jan 7, 2007 3:53:25 GMT -5
The first or the second?
I always trusted whoever I played with. Just not myself.
But I found my true call now, I'm a mapper.. Sort of
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Post by mrmedic on Jan 7, 2007 4:15:02 GMT -5
Emotional Scene for Abyx as a squad leader: Abyx: I feel like I'm dragging the team down, no one wants me here, and the first chance they get, they're going to push me into a horde of specimens and get rid of me Grim: *pats your back* I love you man, don't you EVER say you feel that way. Because I'm here for you man Abyx: ...... LMAO. Feel free to use this thread as a revamped chat log thread as well. Although if people make their stories it would be nice if you post it here. Mine was comedy based. Can anybody here make a romantic comedy, with zombies? |
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Post by zombieButcher on Jan 7, 2007 8:21:55 GMT -5
Emo crap.
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Post by Protector on Jan 18, 2007 16:13:16 GMT -5
lol, my take on the story
Part 3
The Seargent walks up and down the black room, with his soldiers lined up neatly for him, when suddenly they all appeared in an alleyway next to a church, with a helicopter flying away.
Seargent: now soldiers, we only have 60 seconds this time untill the next wave, so I wont be able to say jack shit in time
The soldiers all run to the trader.
Soldier 1: hey, ever wondered why the room is always blue?
Soldier 2: you know what, i never noticed
Soldier 3: actually on Thames, its red
Soldier 1:...
Soldier2: STFU
All of the soldiers teleport out of the trader, apart from one
Seargent: hey, where is soldier 2?
Soldier 1: over there sir *he points at the soldier stuck in an everlasting moving forward motion*
Seargent: aww dammit
*soldier 2 has been kicked from the server
*megamanman has joined the server
Seargent: HEY YOU SOLDIER, CHANGE YOUR NAME TO SOLDIER 2
Megamanman: hell n...
*Megamanman has been kicked from the server
the Sarg looks around for his remaining soldiers, but they are nowhere to be seen
Seargant: hey what the hell?
*death sounds*
Soldier 1: Common, get up here!
Soldier 3: i cant, the server lags!
*death sounds*
The remaining soldier stares down at the hundreds of zombies looking up at him, standing on a wall next to a gate.
Soldier 1: shit i didnt buy ammo in time.
*the jumping down from a high spot sound followed by death sounds*
lol, its shitty, but i didnt do it in much time :D
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Post by mrmedic on Jan 18, 2007 16:18:29 GMT -5
LMAO, thats awesome dude ;D
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