Oh no not annother story! "Scent of death"

[Seras Victoria]

So this story was not Directly written for KF.. But It comes close
I wrote if to go with some map my boyfriend was working on for UT
GOTHY but I found it becoming too long I "Borrowed" some ideas and parts from Uwasa.
I may not nearly be as good a writer as him but I like to do this.

The Scent of death

She stood alone in the ravaged city. Her clothes ragged. Her hands red from all the blood.
The remains of her squad were scattered around her. Tears in her eyes as she tried
to give CPR to one of her fallen comrades. It was of no use, they were dead,
Their bodies torn open by the horde of whatever things it were she saw.
Foul creatures. She couldn't see them very well but from what she saw
their skin was white and covered in blood.

She heard a rustling sound behind her.
It was her closest friend, The one who joined her squad a year after she did,
even her nametag was torn up, all that remained were the letters "Sum"

She wanted to jump at her and embrace her but then took a step back in fear.
Her friend's eyes were empty Her face and hair had dirty red blood stains all over.
She uttered a scream in terror as her beloved friend and comrade crawled toward her.
With only one intend.....

To kill her.

Quickly she took her 9mm Beretta handgun and pointed it at her old friend's head,
her hands shaking. not only her hands, Her entire body was trembling.
"Please, don't! Don't come closer, We're friends right?. Please remember!, Wake up! PLEASE!"
Her screams were futile. Her friend kept coming closer despite her gun pointing at her.
But she knew she would never be able to hurt her, let alone kill.
She could not move, Her legs were like stone, paralyzed with fear
Slowly she lowered her gun and closed her eyes.

----

Her eyes shot open when she felt teeth, biting her.....In her ear?
She looked around quickly, It was no pain she felt. It felt nice in a strange way.
She was in her bed, Her friend Sumika was playfully nibbling her left ear as she lay there.
She was not in a burning city. No blood or gore, all was peaceful and her friend gently smiled at her.

"Wake up sleepyhead! It's time to get a bite at the cafeteria!"
She quickly forgot about what happened, it was just another peaceful
day at the DRF Headquarters.

----

To be continued

[Protector]

its much better than the story i never bothered to continue!

really good, though i can see whats going to happen anyway, or is it?
kinda reminds me of the first episode of hellsing give us more!


oh and, " Her friend Sumika was playfully nibbling her left ear as she lay there." Kinky

[Seras Victoria]

protector said:

really good, though i can see whats going to happen anyway, or is it?
kinda reminds me of the first episode of hellsing

Yaargh, and I thought my anime addiction was over... >.>
Now I just have one more I want to see..

Update soon

[Seras Victoria]

the DRF (Disaster Response Force) were a small groop, Dealing with a wide variation of incidents
Mostly things like natural disasters or riots. But hardly ever anything major.
It was quiet most of the time. The base was a small office building near London,
It was dusk and she was sitting on one of the fences in front of the office.
Thinking about her dream. The ravaged faces of her squad, Their torn limbs,
Only the thought made her feel like vomiting... But it was just a dream? Right?

"Catch!"
She just managed to maintain balance as wel as catching the ice cream that was thrown at her.
When she opened her mouth to yell she saw who it was and quickly turned her head, slightly blushing.
It was one of her other friends. The one that found her when her family had abandoned her
and asked her to join up, Who teached her to shoot and to "point the gun away from her face"
He was leaning against the fence. Eating an apple, He did not like sweets a lot she knew.

"C.R. combo says we're being deployed tonight"
She looked up, his face was serious. But then again, it always was, one thing she found was scary about him.
"There have been reports of mass murder in downtown london, the rest of my squad is putting on their fatigues and armor"
She stared down at him, He was already dressed up and ready. He always was when he was at the base.
There was no way she could imagine it would feel good, they were not exactly comfortable.

"Anyway, I had to see you before I had to leave, who knows what kind of thing they got in store for us now"
Images of her dream returned, The person she was giving CPR, It was him. She could now clearly see the
bloody image of his dead body.."Mortan?..." He turned to look at her.
"I'm going with you!" She cried "I can't let you go alone, I won't sleep tonight if I do"
He just stood there and smiled. "Don't worry, you know the nature of the missions here, there are no real threats"
He turned around to leave, leaving her stand there, Confused, Scared.
She knew he was right. the DRF never did anything really dangerous. But deep inside,
she knew something was about to happen.

----

It was the same night, twelve minutes after midnight when the base suddenly went to full alarm, in a matter of minutes
Helicopters could be heard all over the place. The base was to be evacuated to their more protected main headquarters
"Where is he?!" She shouted as she pushed through the mass, Villagers, Soldiers, Officiers, all were pushing to
get to the helicopters as outside the sound of screams and gunfire could be heard.

More soldiers came in thought the main gate as two of them quickly closed it and barricaded it.
They were Mortan and C.R.
"What happened?" She asked with trembling voice and C.R. answered, "We got no idea what it are, but it are a lot of them'
'They were everywhere, We managed to down a good lot of them but over half of the squad was whiped out
and our ammonution depleted rapidly, They kept coming, in the end we were forced to retreat"

A few minutes later most people were put up in a chopper and just when the last one took off the doors collapsed
followed by a large groop of hideous creatures later to be referred to as "Specimen"
The few soldiers that did not manage to get a chopper were overrun and torn apart in a matter of seconds
All we could do was stare, and look how in so little time the once peaceful DRP headquarters was covered in blood.

The old happy days were over.


To be continued

[Abyx]

Rather good, but one thing Lara.

Use quotation marks " " for speech so it'd be

"Oh NOEZ!1" as opposed to 'Oh NOEZ!1'.

[uwasawaya]

Wow Lara, I'm really, honestly impressed.

You're doing just fine with your story. One thing I noticed is that, for the most part, you're keeping your tense correct... it's hard to write present (ex. 'Lara's friend was nibbling on her ear') as opposed to past (ex. 'Lara's friend nibbled on her ear') and you're doing a pretty good job of staying consistent, which is where a lot of writers have a hard time.

Never be afraid to change things, and always remember... kennings! They make things exciting! The clot didn't just boogie... he boogied like a mother-fuckin' superstar! And that fleshpound didn't punch someone... it struck him like a freight train!

Keep it up! Practice makes perfect!